Chinese New Year is around the corner. Family and friends gathering is a highlight of CNY. Have you ever encountered a situation where your little one is too shy to greet uncles and aunties during the gathering?
Then, you would probably feeling embarrassed and say “Come, faster call uncle auntie! Don’t be a rude kid”. But did you know this statement is actually doing more harm than good? Your shy little one is already feeling uncomfortable and overwhelmed with the presence of so many strangers. And now, daddy mommy made such a remark, it’s like rubbing salt into would. Ouch!
Many parents would wonder why your child turn into a shy little kid in public places, but when they are at home, you want to find their “mute button”, whenever they cannot stop shouting, running, singing and dancing.
So what’s going on now? What can you do to support your child to overcome this strange moment (too shy to greet uncles aunties)?
I would normally say “Oh my child is not ready, when he’s ready, he will say hello to Aunty”.
In fact, introvert children do not feel shy all the time, they are normally shy when they are surrounded by many strangers or trying to get used to novelty.
We all know that no two men are the same. Introverts are usually express less of their own opinion, quiet and obedient. They need longer time to adapt to new changes, so they usually go unnoticed and might have lost opportunities because they don’t like direct confrontation. My key message for parents with introvert children is, take note of your children’s feelings, you play a massive part in helping your children to build confidence to adapt better and faster.
Parents are responsible for a child’s behaviour. How you educate and raise your children have a long lasting impact to the formation of their personality and value system. If your children are receiving positive influence from home and school, then your children are on the right path to live a positive life.
新年将至,亲朋戚友之间互相拜年、聚会、聊天是一件美好的事情,但是孩子还小,一旦面对少见面的亲戚或生人,孩子就好像变了个人。缩到爸爸妈妈的背后,最尴尬的情形莫过于,死活不肯跟长辈打招呼,或者如果好心的叔叔阿姨想逗一下,更是立即成为蜷缩的刺猬了!这让两方的家长都觉得很不好意思!
甚至有些长辈会批评孩子, 为什么不会叫人,这么没礼貌!这只会让孩子的伤口上再撒一把盐,自我形象将变得更弱小。
很多内向、害羞孩子的父母都有这样的经历,在家的时候,孩子声音洪亮、手舞足蹈、能唱能跳,可一旦来了生人,孩子就好像变了个人似的!
应该如何帮助孩子度过这个尴尬的时候呢?
我通常会帮腔说:”小朋友还没准备好,等他准备好了,他就会跟阿姨说哈喽了!“爸爸妈妈这时主动伸手与朋友握手,以化解这个尴尬的场合,孩子看在眼里也渐渐的学到了应对进退的方法。
事实上,害羞的孩子并不是时时刻刻都害羞,他们的害羞大都只表现在陌生环境中或者陌生人面前。
我们现在已经知道,无论什么气质的孩子都可以成材。害羞的孩子通常气质安静,并遵守规则。但不可否认的是,害羞的孩子对陌生环境和事物感到紧张和恐惧,他们的“安全区域”小,因此适应慢,花费时间长;由于缺乏公众表现的机会,因此较少得到学校和同伴的关注;
这样的孩子由于不爱争取,常常会失去很多机会;更重要的是,在这个快速、激烈的竞争年代,害羞的孩子也可能产生自卑心理,从而对自我形象产生怀疑……这些都是父母需要关注的。
父母务必认真对待小孩子的所作所为。父母的抚育和教育方式,以及社会环境的变化对一个人的性格都会产生一定的影响。这要看孩子在什么样的环境下成长以及在什么样的老师指导下学习和发展,若是父母、老师和社会的友人给予正确健全的身体力行的影响,其未来的发展走向就比较乐观,反之亦然。